Guest post – Anna Mae Alexander

My fiancée, Anna Mae, has had a few thoughts regarding recent events and implications coming with. She’s also linking a few interesting articles everyone should take a look at.

I absolutely think this piece by James Fell – Body for Wife is on point and needs to be read in light of recent events:
The myth of the alpha-male.

Also, I like what Chuck Wendig has to say about it (he’s also a huge advocate for strong female characters in novels and media, which I personally feel leads to stronger male characters too): terribleminds/Not all Men but still too many Men.

While I feel very strongly about these issues I don’t often say much because many people will just discount me as an angry feminist rather than hear my words. It’s unfortunate but true that the people in society with privilege need to stand up and admit that something is wrong before those happy with status quo listen. I’m grateful to men like James and Chuck for standing up and speaking.

This whole “nice guy” myth needs to die. It’s not nice when you befriend a girl and expect sex or a relationship. It’s that simple. It’s also super selfish. Allow the woman to trust her instincts. Maybe there is something she sees that would make you both incompatible. Maybe she’s an evangelical follower of Cthulhu and your strict Catholic upbringing means you’d both be trying to change one another’s beliefs rather than enjoy each other. Or perhaps you are a man who feels that a woman should rest and relax while you open doors, start fires at the campsite and chop wood. Maybe she’s a mechanic with a huge hobby of hiking and backwoods survival. That may not work no matter how attracted you are to her. One person being nice to another doesn’t entitle anyone to what they THINK they deserve.

I rarely speak about it, but my life was drastically changed by someone who thought they deserved me. And after it took a lot of time, soul searching and unhealthy relationships before I realized that I have EVERY RIGHT to say no to what is not good for me. And I’m greatful to have a man who treats me very well and who you could call a feminist. Except he would just call it treating another human being as a human being and not property. In fact going through the whole we are getting married thing makes me proud of him. Some traditions he thinks are silly and weird yes because we come from different countries. Some though, bother him because he doesn’t feel that I should be treated like an object or property. When he explains why these things make him uncomfortable I KNOW why I need to marry this man!

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